Hi all. Yes, it's really me. Your friendly neighbourhood Dave. Although, for a lot of you reading this, I'm probably not in your neighbourhood anymore. Does that just make me friendly Dave? The artist formerly known as friendly neighbourhood Dave? Who knows? I don't. Anyway, I've been a bit quiet on the old blog for a while now. A fair few months. Mainly because I've been super busy. Busier than I've been in a very long time. Lemme tell ya what I've been doing.
Firstly, I got myself a new job. I am now the Assistant Manager of a nightclub called Mosh in Leicester. It has 3 floors (4 if you count the office floor), about 40 or so members of staff, cheap booze and friendly vibes. It also has a sewage pipe that, when open, is easy to fall into if you aren't paying attention to where you're going. It is the most challenging and relentless work that I've ever done, but if you aren't being challenged by what you're doing can you really call it work? Yes. Yes you can. But this job is undoubtedly tough and takes a lot of time, dedication and graft to do well. In the last few months I've become first aid trained, I have an SIA license (I am the skinniest and most un-menacing doorman in the history of doormen), I have a personal license, and I also finally passed my driving test after around 10 years of not taking my test, walking everywhere and regularly swearing at public transport. I've never felt more like an adult. Having this job moves me swiftly onto my second bit of news.
As I said, the nightclub is in Leicester. I was living in Derby. Commuting to and from Leicester wasn't fun at all. Commuting from Leicester at 5 in the morning was, in fact, the polar opposite of fun. I mean, if your idea of fun is sitting on a bus for 2 hours whilst drunken idiots covered in doner meat and garlic mayo periodically get on and off, and are also occasionally joined by incredibly sober and grumpy people going to work or posh people going on holiday, then get on the Skylink at St Margaret's bus station. You'll love it. I do not fall into that category. I therefore moved to Leicester way back in January. It now takes me 10 minutes to get home and life is wonderful. I moved into my own place for the first time. It's small, but it's all mine, so it feels a lot bigger than it looks. It gets lonely from time to time, but I never run out of toilet paper anymore and none of my food ever goes missing so I overlook that bit. It was also marketed as a flat but it has stairs, which either means the landlord has no idea what a flat is or he's scared of stairs and has never actually seen the other floor. Either way, I like it here.
Although I haven't been writing an awful lot on here, I have still been writing for Invicta Magazine. I've been writing reviews for a ton of metal, hardcore and emo releases over the last few months, and I'm still really enjoying writing and listening. If you want to read any of my reviews for them, you can find them by clicking HERE. Definitely read the Tiny Moving Parts review, I talk about cats and doughnuts in it.
My reviewing is going to be kicking back into gear as of now. The amount of free time I have has grown recently, and I intend on throwing myself back into things with immediate effect. I want to be more involved with writing and creating in both my personal and professional lives, and I reckon that striving to make something out of this blog may be a good way to push for that. Fingers crossed ay?
This is the beginning. Again. A new beginning. Or maybe a rebirth of sorts. Picking up where I left off. All of the above are true. Sort of. I'll shut up now.
Peace out.
D.S
x
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Friday, 4 May 2018
Tuesday, 5 September 2017
Having An Album Out Is Weird
So, it's been a very hectic, strange, exciting, overwhelming, exhausting and eye opening few days. For many reasons. Pretty much from Friday last week onwards, I haven't stopped. I've been busy sorting things out, getting things in order, preparing for the future, travelling, playing shows, doing interviews, working, and trying to get my head in order. All of this has revolved around releasing my bands debut album. And releasing it has been completely different to what I expected.
All of last week, I can honestly say that the approach to releasing the album didn't really feel special. We'd been sat on it for a while, and I almost felt numb I guess? I just wanted the material to be out there, and I thought that once it was it'd just feel like one less thing to focus on. No real internal release, no weight off my shoulders, just another thing that happened during my week. I was very wrong. As soon as it hit midnight and I realised it was out, I emotionally crumbled. The sheer realisation that something we'd worked so hard on was finally in the public domain completely flooded my senses and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I almost had an outer body experience where all the weight within me just lifted. I felt like I was floating. I can't really explain it any other way that I felt completely weightless, carefree. I was just hovering in that realisation. And it was very overwhelming. Messages from friends started to appear in my inbox, all complimentary, all saying something along the lines of "you should be proud". I honestly don't think I've ever had this much support and praise from anybody about anything I've done in my life, and I didn't really know what to do with all of this. I still don't. It all feels very alien. Nothing I've done with my life has felt like this before.
I managed to eventually get some sleep, and I woke up to more complimentary messages. People sharing screenshots of their Spotify app playing our album, people taking pictures of their album pre-orders that had turned up on their doorstep. And then I started getting messages about Gonvena. I wasn't ready for these messages. For those unaware, Gonvena is a track on the album that I wrote about my mums death. The name comes from two things. The first is a place in Cornwall we visited a few times when I was growing up. The second is the name of my Granddad's house, the house my mum grew up in. My Granddad has outlived two wives and his daughter, he's had various types of cancer and survived them all, he's an incredible and inspiring human being. But it's all taken it's toll and he's now quite frail, and had to move out of his beloved house. Naming the song Gonvena was my way of keeping mum and my Granddad together. I'd been listening to this song for months, but this was new to everybody else, and it's now impossible for me to listen to. The way I feel about my mum passing appears to have been portrayed in the song, and the support and praise I've had for that in particular has been a lot to take in. I was not expecting a response like this at all. From Friday onwards I've done a lot of crying and I'm not ashamed to say that. When it comes to my feelings, I am a bottler. I push everything real far down so no one can see I'm struggling. Releasing this album and, in particular that song, has allowed me to let everything go and feel a little.
I'm still receiving messages today. We played Macmillan Festival on Saturday, a festival I hold particularly close to me, and we were receiving compliments and praise whilst there too. We got played on Kerrang! Radio last week, and Alex Baker was very complimentary towards us. We're in this months issue of Rock Sound. A lot of things are happening at the minute and my brain and body don't really know what to do with it all. I can't explain what I've been feeling for these last few days in any way other than overwhelming. It really has been. I just expected a few "hey the album is cool" from some friends, but what we've actually had has been much more than that, and I honestly can't say thank you enough. This band over the last few months has been incredibly difficult to be a part of. There have been a lot of internal struggles that you haven't seen, a lot of arguments and disagreements, a lot of stress, loss of drive, frustration, depression. But everything we've heard, read and seen since the release has made everything worth it, and in all honesty it's probably saved us. So thank you.
All of last week, I can honestly say that the approach to releasing the album didn't really feel special. We'd been sat on it for a while, and I almost felt numb I guess? I just wanted the material to be out there, and I thought that once it was it'd just feel like one less thing to focus on. No real internal release, no weight off my shoulders, just another thing that happened during my week. I was very wrong. As soon as it hit midnight and I realised it was out, I emotionally crumbled. The sheer realisation that something we'd worked so hard on was finally in the public domain completely flooded my senses and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I almost had an outer body experience where all the weight within me just lifted. I felt like I was floating. I can't really explain it any other way that I felt completely weightless, carefree. I was just hovering in that realisation. And it was very overwhelming. Messages from friends started to appear in my inbox, all complimentary, all saying something along the lines of "you should be proud". I honestly don't think I've ever had this much support and praise from anybody about anything I've done in my life, and I didn't really know what to do with all of this. I still don't. It all feels very alien. Nothing I've done with my life has felt like this before.
I managed to eventually get some sleep, and I woke up to more complimentary messages. People sharing screenshots of their Spotify app playing our album, people taking pictures of their album pre-orders that had turned up on their doorstep. And then I started getting messages about Gonvena. I wasn't ready for these messages. For those unaware, Gonvena is a track on the album that I wrote about my mums death. The name comes from two things. The first is a place in Cornwall we visited a few times when I was growing up. The second is the name of my Granddad's house, the house my mum grew up in. My Granddad has outlived two wives and his daughter, he's had various types of cancer and survived them all, he's an incredible and inspiring human being. But it's all taken it's toll and he's now quite frail, and had to move out of his beloved house. Naming the song Gonvena was my way of keeping mum and my Granddad together. I'd been listening to this song for months, but this was new to everybody else, and it's now impossible for me to listen to. The way I feel about my mum passing appears to have been portrayed in the song, and the support and praise I've had for that in particular has been a lot to take in. I was not expecting a response like this at all. From Friday onwards I've done a lot of crying and I'm not ashamed to say that. When it comes to my feelings, I am a bottler. I push everything real far down so no one can see I'm struggling. Releasing this album and, in particular that song, has allowed me to let everything go and feel a little.
I'm still receiving messages today. We played Macmillan Festival on Saturday, a festival I hold particularly close to me, and we were receiving compliments and praise whilst there too. We got played on Kerrang! Radio last week, and Alex Baker was very complimentary towards us. We're in this months issue of Rock Sound. A lot of things are happening at the minute and my brain and body don't really know what to do with it all. I can't explain what I've been feeling for these last few days in any way other than overwhelming. It really has been. I just expected a few "hey the album is cool" from some friends, but what we've actually had has been much more than that, and I honestly can't say thank you enough. This band over the last few months has been incredibly difficult to be a part of. There have been a lot of internal struggles that you haven't seen, a lot of arguments and disagreements, a lot of stress, loss of drive, frustration, depression. But everything we've heard, read and seen since the release has made everything worth it, and in all honesty it's probably saved us. So thank you.
Come and say hello to us at a show. We've got a brand new set to share with y'all.
Thank you for listening to us, thank you for watching us, thank you for talking to us, thank you for everything. Thank you for reading this.
D.S
x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)